Perhaps it has something to do with the weather. Last I recall it wasn’t supposed to be a gloomy rainy day. Or perhaps it has more to do with my own lack of sleep. Or the three sick kids, or maybe even a few minuscule pregnancy hormones run amok.
Or, maybe it has to do with his job stress or our finances. Or the sheer business of the last few weeks. Maybe its the looming business of the weeks ahead?
Most likely it has something to do with all of it.
You know the feeling:
Not one more snotty nose to wipe.
Not one more meal to prepare with complaining voices and bodies wrapped around your legs.
Not one more quarrel to quell.
Not one more thought to invade my already crowded mind.
Not. one. more. thing!
I feel empty. Empty of energy, empty of compassion, empty of patience.
…. and its not even nine o’clock!
And so the morning starts. On the day I gave up drinking coffee…. hmm, maybe…?
So much to do. We’ll just steam roll through it.
I’m in no mood to cuddle, to talk them through the squabbles. I need to get breakfast on the table before all anarchy breaks loose… don’t I?
As we sit around the table, with each begrudgingly accepted and yet custom made meal, I open our devotional book. I glance around the table. None of us (myself leading the pack) are into it. But we soldier on. This is our routine. Its supposed to be beautitful… often it is.
Just not today.
I read, and the words strike my heart like little beads of hail. Reminding, exhorting, convicting. Isn’t this for the kids?!
Still we push through. My attitude as stormy as the weather outside. And now the kids are picking up on it. The more I push them forward into our day, the more they dig in and refuse to be moved. The more they cling to me the more I push them away.
Our day is going down the tubes fast. Something has to change. Did I mention I feel empty?
The moment comes and all is quiet… not the good quiet. My thoughtful one has retreated. The other two…. are somewhere…
But, I find him, sullen lying in bed. My heart cannot resist this one. He is far too in tune to his mothers moods and affected to deeply. I have to change this. I cannot let my DRA (Dirty Rotten Attitude) ruin his day too.
We chat, I confess I’m having a hard day too. I tell him I’m sorry. He says he’s sorry for his attitude too. Then I dig deeper.
“You know, sometimes I can’t change my attitude on my own.” I say.
He looks at me surprised. “You can’t?”
“No, I have been trying all morning. I need help. I need God’s help.”
We decide to pray. We both pray and begin to feel that slow pouring of renewal.
Prayer and confession always leads the way to restoration. But, the real secret to reclaiming the day was found in what we did next.
For a long time.
Just sitting there in quiet company.
Letting go of our frustration, letting go of our anger. Remembering we love each other.
Accepting HIS forgiveness.
Realizing we have the gift to start again.
When we looked up. The little ones had found us, and joined in.
And the next secret to recovering out day. We all squished together on the couch and cuddled. We read book after book. We giggled, we relaxed, we restarted our day.
I’m not sharing this because I want brag about a touching moment. Nor am I here to say I have found the secret to saving your morning that may be going a little rougher than you would like.
I’m writing this to remind us all.
The day can be recovered. It can be saved.
The only secret we need know is found in the relationships we carry so close to our hearts.
Relationship with God, with each other. Yes, the day can be reclaimed when we remember the relationships.